Advice I Wish I Knew Sooner

You don't need everyone to choose you. You just need to be intentional about who you choose.

The people who are patient with you when you're in a funk. The people who don't expect you to be perfect all the time. The people who let you be loud, quiet, emotional, weird, excited, confused; all the different versions of you. Focus on the people who make life feel a little lighter just by being in it.

I think I believed for a long time that if I cared about someone, I had to keep making space for them. That history meant something had to last forever. That losing people meant I had failed somehow. But I'm starting to realize that maybe growing up is also realizing that not everyone is meant to have permanent access to you. The truth is, we get to choose who we let into our funny little worlds. And that choice is ours to make, and ours to protect.

Pay attention to how you feel around people. Do you feel like yourself? Do you feel safe enough to have a bad day? Can you celebrate something good without making yourself smaller? Can you say no without worrying that they'll love you less? Those things matter.

The right people aren't only there for the shiny versions of you. They're there when you're in a weird season. When you're figuring things out. When you're not as fun, productive, confident, or put together as you usually are. And you should be that person for them, too.

I think that's the other part of it. Finding your people isn't just about asking, Who shows up for me? It's also asking, Who do I want to show up for? Who brings out a version of me that I actually like? Because the people we surround ourselves with shape our lives in ways we don't always notice.

So focus on the people who make you shine brighter. Love the people who let you be you. Protect the relationships that make this world feel like a better place for you. And maybe stop trying so hard to hold onto the ones that don't.

Xoxo,

Lynsey